Let‘s Talk About Sex with Lynn and Jen

49. Erotic Transference

Have you ever felt a sense of love or longing towards your therapist and couldn't figure out why? Or have you wondered how it happens?

This week, Lynn and Jen talk about when a client develops loving feelings towards their therapist--in psychology, this is called erotic transference. We hope that with this episode, we can shed some light on what it is and keep the conversation going.

To find out more about, you can visit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-therapy/201206/clients-guide-transference

Spotlight on Sex 34. What the Heck is Sugar Dating?

After a recent session with a teen client telling Jen about sugar dating, Jen wondered, "What the heck is sugar dating?!" Turns out, this has been around: We've heard of "sugar daddies" and "sugar babies," and apparently this relationship is "sugar dating."

Are these relationships sexual? Are young people being exploited in these relationships? Or is it better to have explicit knowledge of these exchanges? Are these dynamics circumventing vulnerability? What about sugar mama's and how does this dynamic affect traditional gender norms?

48. The Cougar

As Lynn and Jen were discussing "sugar dating" and "sugar mama's," as some of you may have heard in our previous episode, it got us questioning the dynamics of older women and younger men who date. And often the women in these relationships are called "cougars." But unlike what is portrayed in the media, research shows that couples with this structure are in intimate, fulfilling relationships. In this same study, differences were found in how older women met their partners. They also note that as women age, mothers and grandmothers are seen as incompatible with having sexual desires.

Jen shares about being married to a younger man and Lynn shares how older women and younger men were more common in Canada.

Spotlight on Sex 36. Abuse? Is it so black and white?

This week on LTAS, Lynn and Jen take a deep dive into the complex dynamics of sex trafficking, breaking away from the idea of the roles of victim and perpetrator being mutually exclusive. This is how the media portrays abuse:

Jeffrey Epstein - "The Monster"

Ghislaine Maxwell - "The Accomplice"

Cyntoia Brown - "The Hero" (now)

We believe all three have suffered from abuse, but the difference is in how they choose to cope with their trauma.

47. Sexual Junctures and Learning "Gender Rules"

"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

That's something a 13-year-old said to Jen in a session one day. It made her realize that quite a few young teens that she is working with want to engage in sex, but view it in a very nonchalant manner. This raised some questions: What sexual junctures do young people face when developing their sexual identity? What are the beliefs that shape the rules they are trying to follow? Why is sex ed. only teaching the mechanics of sex? What about the socioemotional piece?

These sexual junctures occur in childhood, teenhood, adulthood, and even in toddlers. Lynn shares the story of her grandson who has now decided that "Nana can't throw me the ball because she's a girl. Only boys can throw me the ball," even though she was the one who taught him how to play ball.

46. Max Landis - Abusive Patterns

Sparked by an article in The Daily Beast, Lynn and Jen discuss patterns of abuse that seem so "normal" in our culture that many people get away with it. Often, the people who are being abused aren't consciously aware that what they have experienced is abuse, and a part of that relies upon predators grooming themselves long before they groom others. Those that do speak up, do so to protect other potential targets of abuse. It's not until the abused come together that they can see the patterns and realize it's not just them.

33. Spotlight on Sex: Genocide of Indigenous Women in Canada

Lynn and Jen talk about the issues surrounding the prejudice against Indigenous women and girls in Canada, where large numbers go missing and murdered. In particular, the released New York Times article summarizes the National Inquiry report which calls this tragedy a genocide. Lynn shares personal experiences from her time working in the Red River area with this population and notes how the system continues to fail them, even when the "proper" procedures are followed.

45. Who's Responsible? Reshaping the Way We Talk about Abortion

Let's reshape the conversation around abortion away from pro-life or pro-choice, towards addressing the root cause--decreasing unwanted pregnancies.  Lynn and Jen discuss personal and community responsibility, bringing in ideas by Gabrielle Blair in her controversial Medium article and the book, Women Talking by Miriam Toews.

44. Power and Personal Harassment

Lynn and Jen talk about the many different aspects of the power dynamics--power over vs. power sharing--in our country inspired by Lucy Flores' op-ed about Joe Biden. Lynn also shares a recent personal experience with sexual harassment and the feelings that arose as a result.

Spotlight on Sex 32. Game of Thrones and Gender Roles

As the beloved series comes to a close with just one episode left, Lynn and Jen talk about the way some of the most popular characters both followed and broke traditional gender roles while navigating their power.