47. Sexual Junctures and Learning "Gender Rules"

"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

That's something a 13-year-old said to Jen in a session one day. It made her realize that quite a few young teens that she is working with want to engage in sex, but view it in a very nonchalant manner. This raised some questions: What sexual junctures do young people face when developing their sexual identity? What are the beliefs that shape the rules they are trying to follow? Why is sex ed. only teaching the mechanics of sex? What about the socioemotional piece?

These sexual junctures occur in childhood, teenhood, adulthood, and even in toddlers. Lynn shares the story of her grandson who has now decided that "Nana can't throw me the ball because she's a girl. Only boys can throw me the ball," even though she was the one who taught him how to play ball.